OfferListControl is not meant to be edited, that is forking the code. The jplayer markup used there comes from Web/Controls/jPlayerPanel.cs but this also should not be modified and I don't really have a way for you to easily change that markup without forking it.
However, you could submit a patch to the jPlayerPanel control that adds a property like PlaceVolumeBeforePlayback then have an if statement to render the alternative markup if that is true. The property could then be set from theme.skin.
jPlayer is not broken in my copy so first you should figure out what is breaking it in yours, use browser tools and look for script errors.
BlueMonday is used on the demo site and is working in the webstore demo there.